the district sleeps alone tonight

somedays you just wanna pull your hair out kind of crazy.

on a happier note:

i just saw ellen degenerous & portia's wedding clip... and it was beautiful.happy.love

its the kind that shouldn't be judged

and i know a lot of people have there own views on prop 8... but all i have to say is take a step back and look at your own life and how you choose to live it before you decide to judge someone elses

equal rights in all fairness

Song lyrics | The Scientist lyrics

i have offically taken on too many things and made too many silent promises.

i have a big heart, and i am a caring person. and thats a problem sometimes.
i give and give to others and forget about myself. and that leaves people thinking they can take advantage of what i give.

i don't like people to be upset. and i am too nice.
i try not to care what people think, but i do.

i feel over come with life in general.

So last night I had this amazing dream that I was playing the guitar, the amazing intro, in Death Cab For Cutie's music video "Cath..." I am beyond obsessed with this song.

And maybe I should be a rockstar one day.

other than that I miss my husband and I think about him every second of everyday we are not together. my tattoo appointment is coming near, and it is going to be a piece that comes at a time in my life that I feel I am changing, becoming this strong woman, yet embracing femininity, feeling beautiful, and living blissfully.

can't wait to see the design for it soon!

i am thinking about another tattoo, as usual. i get these spurts where i wanna get one, but then i can't decide what to get. and then i forget about it. but then it comes back to me.
so i am contemplating a sleeve, half, who know maybe full. and it is really going to be girly! but funky fresh.

i wish my hubby was home to go check out tattoo shops with me :-(

I started writing lyrics again recently, its been a long while since my last lyric journal, and that was really just chicken scratch. But I have been workin on this song, and it's not finished yet, plus I keep changing it, but its coming along. I decided I need to get on this ball because I am taking guitar lessons now, so once I learn I can actually put music to lyrics, I have a complicated head at times. The lyrics really have nothing to do with my life personally, but I just thought it up as a story in my head. Its harder to create a story, verses inspiration or life experiences. But I envisioned it and it just came out on paper. very creative. So here is a work in progress... needs more work really

(untitled)

I know that I am standing far from you
but I've been thinking about the truth
at times I've been agitated, contemplative
I can't pretend like I know anything
timing is everything

I feel the pain and
I don't breathe
the way I use to
and you are at it again
while I am aiming to please
I can't feel anything
but I want you to see in my eyes
the way you use to

You won't believe
so scream and shout
and lose your temper, let it out
and if you got it all figured
leave everything behind
because you can never rewind
in my eyes
I won't be the way you want me
We got it bad whether you like it or not
why don't you say so
your eyes are disguised
with lies

I feel the pain and
I don't breathe
the way I use to
and you are at it again
while I am aiming to please
I can't feel anything
but I want you to see in my eyes
the way you use to

praying for bad weather and rain perhaps beacause i can't take another nature campus walk in my geography lab class

:-(

and student parking is a bitch, but whats new.

i haven't had much motivation lately for anything... from waking up, to school stuff, to driving, to talking, to showering, to getting my mail, to playing sims, to getting dressed...

you would think that the second deployment would be easier, you know what to expect.

they lied. its not.

i am using this new line of skin care products that are suppose to be really expensive and work really well, and i didn't have to pay a penny for them since i am now working at a spa! yay, the esthetician give the obagi kit to me! everyone is extremely nice and friendly, which makes it easy to go to work.

i can't believe how nice it is to wanna go in to work.

I was thinking about things, in the mist of recent events.

If I was to die tomorrow I want the following things:

- to be cremated and put in the most colorful urn around with wings engraved on it
- to have "I can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me played at my funeral
- to have lots of butterflies released

two of my favorite things at the moment:

-aaron freakin'patchin
-my DVR


today i watched someone get botox and it was painful just viewing this being done. people are so serious when it comes to their appearance. there is such a demand to physically look a certain way... sad, sad, sad. i don't think all the money in the world will save women from fine lines and wrinkles.

i am majorly bored out of my freakin mind.
i usually hate all those surveys you tend to find on myspace from people just as bored as me, but the one with the itunes shuffle is the best!

MySpace Music Shuffle Survey

Put your iTunes, iPod, mp3 player, ect on shuffle.
Answer The Questions with the song you get.
Your wedding song:: It's a War- Liz Phair
Your bf/gf song:: My Lullaby- Maria Mena
The Song That best describes your life:: Tiny Vessels-Death Cab for Cutie
The Song That will/did describe your first kiss:: The Sound of Settling- Death Cab for Cutie
The Song That will be played at your funeral:: Do You Remember- Jack Johnson
The Song That Best Describes your Childhood:: Wild Angels-Martina McBride
The Song You Listen to When Your Mad:: DOGG- Snoop Dogg
When Your Sad:: It's My Life- Bon Jovi
When Your Happy:: U + Ur Hand- P!nk
When Your Excited:: Fever Dreams- Dashboard Confessional
When Your Stressed:: Never Know- Jack Johnson
The Song you listen to when your in love with someone:: Float On- Modesto Mouse
The First Day Of School:: I'm Safer on an Airplane= Copeland
The Last Day Of School:: Talk- Coldplay
Fight Song:: Ex-Girlfriends- No Doubt
Before The Big Game:: An Orgy of Critics- Say Anything
When You See Your Crush:: Creatures- 311
Song That Describes Your School:: Come Back to Bed- John Mayer
Song that Describes Your Town:: Geek in the Pink- Jason Mraz
Song That Describes how you feel when your sick:: H.W.C- Liz Phair
The Song That Goes Through Your Head When Your Getting A Haircut:: Bruised- Jack's Mannequin
Song That Describes Your Favorite Teacher:: Out of Breath- Lifehouse
Song That Describes Your Religion:: Back in Sattle- Aerosmith
The Song That You Air Guitar To:: Bury Your Head- Saosin
The Song You Dance To:: Hot in Herr- Nelly
The Song You Mosh To:: LDN- Lilly Allen
The Song That Did/will Describe Your First date:: Rooftops & Invitations- Dashboard Confessional
Song You Think of When You wake up:: Pin Your Wings- Copeland
Song You Think of Before You Go To Sleep:: Everything's Just Wonderful- Lilly Allen

Fill out this survey yourself
Find a different survey
Brought to you by Bzoink

I really just wanted to say that I HATE that stupid TING TINGS band. I feel sick to my stomach everytime I hear their weird repeat lyrics!


Now that I have that off my chest I feel better!

oh and I am sick of Katey Perry and her kissing girls song... gay, gay, gay.

I can't even remember the last time I visited my livejournal, more than a year ago I would say. I guess I have just been on the journey of life and being married!
Everything is great, besides the fact that the hubby and I are going through a second Iraq deployment.

But the good news is that I have two friends from my hometown here in SD, Lindsey Richards and Aprill Ray! I find that very comforting, probably cause I need some San Diego friends here.
At first I felt like I was missing out on not having as many friends as I did back home, but I am better off with just a few close friends, less drama...really.

I am keeping my head up while my best friend and love of my life is gone. I am sure there will be more postings on LJ to get me through the next several months.

my ipod took a crap.
my room is half way packed for the move.
and i am sorta freaking out, cause i get to see my BOY in like 10 days.

wahoooooOooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
i hope i don't get lost on the way to LAX, i just bought like 4 maps.

i have been waiting forever and a day it seems.
aaron is in the mists of leaving Iraq and on his way to Okinawa for a month before he comes home to me!
and i must say i am so ready to see him!
its about time!

i don't really get a chance to talk about it much, but its been an enormous struggle to keep everything together here, but i find my strength to go on in him, my best friend. we have each other to count on, and thats it. he is always ready to make me laugh, smile, support me, say i love you, or be an ear to listen over the phone. the distance is almost over and i am so happy.

i will contine to say we have always been one of those lucky couples. we have come a long way.

remember to breathe.

you may have heard the phrase, "taste of your own medicine." how you act is how u will be treated.

you get what you give.its not a conspiracy, its reality.

so long, so long.

theres a moment every now and then when everything seems like it is falling into place. like when the pieces makes sense and they fit right.

that is how i feel at this very second.

the months are going by fast.
i can almost taste summer!

i have to get emotional for a minute here... i have felt this "missing" pit in my stomach for the past 7 months since i last saw aaron, and i can't even count how many times i wished to see his face and hug the heck outta him! but thats about to change cause hes coming home in JUNE! yay!

i love him.

its late nights like this when i'm not painting my nails, or texting amanda, or wishing for world peace.... but i am on ipoding and wishing i could be anywhere but here.

i began to ponder what it will be like when i am no longer around escalon.
i suppose life would go on normal for most.... haha. but really, will somewhere care? nah. prob. not. i'm not bummed.
i think that leaving here will be the hardest but best thing in my life.
i've been distant recently, for obvious reasons. and some not so obvious reasons too.
when i leave, i'd like to believe friend drama will cease.
once again at another pivotal moment in my life i am left standing alone.
i guess being left senior year of high school wasn't enough back then... cause two years later here i am again. hurt, yea. disapointed, of course. but i am desensitized to it by now.

so thank you jesus.